I’m realizing many of the ideas I had about fatherhood, and many of the expectations also, aren’t coming to fruition. I’ll be the first to say I’m not the greatest dad in the world and I know I’m going to make too many mistakes to remember. But I have realized the best thing I can do no matter what is just be there for my son.
If I give him bad advice it’s only going to come back and hurt me in the future when he’s living in my basement trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up even though he’s 40. So making sure I think about what I’m saying to him before just letting any type of so-called wisdom come out will benefit all involved. I’m also going to probably watch him get hurt while under my supervision because that kind of stuff happens and I let him try new things so he understands his limitations. Just ask my parents about how often a kid can cut open his head when playing too hard or pushing their limits. I just need to be ready to wipe away the tears and bandage any cuts.
The most important thing I’m beginning to understand is my wife knows so much more than I do when it comes to raising our kid. I need to just shut up and get out of her way when she starts getting into parenting mode and let it happen. Too many times I’ve tried stepping in and have gotten the look from her that says “don’t do that.” Then, the next thing I know, the kid is crying and mom is cuddling him while I try to figure out what just happened.
It’s not the end of the world if I’m not the greatest dad in the world. It’s not going to create a lasting impression on my son if I don’t play with him every night because I’ve got something I have to get done. He won’t remember the bad stuff if I make sure the good stuff happens often. I need to just make sure he understands I love him and I’ll always be there when he needs me. Then at least I’ll pass as a good enough father when it matters.