I’m not going to sugar coat it. I’m not going to sit here and say everything is great and act like nothing could be better. I don’t like to lie and I’m not going to start just because I’m a new parent. I had heard from other new parents how rough the first week can be and I wanted to believe I could get through it, but to be honest I’m struggling. The first week with my son has been rough; no sleep, bickering with my wife and anxiety on whether or not we’re doing the right thing. I’ve never felt more lost in my life as I have this past week.
Hours feel like they’re running together, days disappear with out me even realizing and my patience, what little patience I have, gets tested every time my son cries in the middle of the night wanting to be changed and fed. I struggle to make sure I get enough sleep. I try to get rest whenever he’s sleeping but I can’t relax because I’ve got so many things I need to get done before he wakes up. I become exhausted when I’m pushing myself and without making sure I get the rest I need I’m afraid I’m going to make a mistake sooner than later that will cause some pain.
I know things will get better (at least I hope they do) and all of this exhaustion will eventually go away as my son begins to sleep more and become the individual he is to become. I’ll get to witness all those moments as he begins to see things for the first time and experience new things and see new sights. Those moments are what keep me going and not letting my exhaustion get me down. Those images of what he will become help me believe I will be a good parent.