I often sit across the room from my wife and stare at her growing stomach. I’m amazed at the fact something is growing inside her we will call our son. Even after 6 months of watching her body change form I can’t completely comprehend the idea of holding the child we created.
He’s been moving quite a bit lately and I whenever I get the chance to rest my hand on her stomach I do. This is one of those things that baffles me when it comes to pregnancy. What is he doing in there and why does my wife act so calm when what is happening is so amazing? Lately though, when she says he’s moving about, I’ll reach over and gently place my hand on her stomach and he’ll stop. Even if he’s been bouncing around in there the instant I touch her he settles down. It disappoints me a little because she feels him moving all day and acts like there’s nothing to it, but I want to know what that feels like.
I know she’s not being nonchalant about being pregnant but I’m jealous of her because she is creating a bond with our son before I have a chance to meet him. I mean, I already love this thing growing inside her but I don’t even know him. I find these feelings to be a bit crazy yet this is what I think as I lay in bed wondering about how things are changing for us. I can’t wait to meet this little guy yet I am nowhere ready to start raising him.
I’m excited about my son’s birth and how our lives are going to change but I worry I’ll somehow screw something up. I have no idea on how to care for a baby. Whenever I try to read something, listen to new parents experiences or have my parents and in-laws acting like raising a child is nothing I get anxious and start getting confused with all the information. I want to make sure I have everything ready for when our son is born and have the answers to any problems that come up or be confident in the decisions I make that could affect my son’s future.
I know people say you can never know exactly how to handle a baby until they arrive, but being the planner I am this is really throwing me off. I like knowing everything about what I am about to embark on. Be it a job, schooling, life, or what I’m having for dinner that evening. I want to have it planned out. This feeling of not knowing is going to be a challenge.
Like life and raising a child, this post is not able to wrap up nicely. It’s open ended just as I try to figure out how best to react to the changes coming to our lives with the fast approaching birth of my son. I know even if I could plan things out something would happen to throw me off course and that is what makes parenthood fun and a little nerve racking. I guess for now I can continue to worry and let my wife be the sane one of this new family we’re starting and hope I don’t worry too much and not enjoy the life of my new child.