What Is Happening

My wife and I, after 12 years of marriage, are expecting our first child.  I’m over the moon with excitement, but I’m also gradually getting more nervous and worrying about not having a clue on how to raise a son.  Part of my anxiety is with not knowing what it will take to raise a child in the city.  You see I’m a product of middle of nowhere Michigan and have only lived  in Chicago for almost 6 years myself.  So trying to get a handle on that is going to be fun.

Another little issue I have is wanting to know all the answers.  I don’t like going into something without knowing exactly how to handle what comes up, but with a baby you’re always on your toes and dealing with surprises.  This scares me and stresses me out.  I don’t do well with stress and I don’t enjoy change.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a mess when my son arrives.  My wife will hate having me in the delivery room because I’ll not be able to control myself and be a worrying blob and once we have the bundle of joy I’ll freeze up every time she wants me to help.  I’m going to have so many questions, second guess everything I do and worry I’m somehow screwing up my son’s future.  I’m afraid I’m going to be the worst dad ever and my son will resent me once he’s realized all his problems are because of me.


About jharbottle7

I'm a husband, a father, want-to-be writer, struggling blogger and cyclist. Starting a family has changed my life and made me want to become a better person.
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